I don’t have to look hard or dig deep to find signs that I am falling short of parenting perfection. Apparently, I’m so busy deflecting disaster that I can’t tackle the little things. Like educating my child. At all.
These are all direct quotes, just from yesterday. One day of Luke’s thoughts:
Luke on Religion:
Christmas has Santa. Hanukkah has God.
Luke on History:
The first human beings on planet Earth were the Pilgrims.
Luke on Geography:
Yeah, I know what Europe is. It’s one of the states.
Luke on Astronomy:
The only planet in outer space that moves is the sun.
Luke on Driving:
Wouldn’t it be cool if there was a computer screen the exact size of your windshield that showed exactly everything that’s outside so you could put it over your windshield and just look at that instead of looking outside?
Luke on Naturalization:
It’s sad that Daddy’s not American. He should take that test. He’d pass it if they just asked, “What’s 2+2 in America?” What’s 2+2 in New Zealand anyway?
I do try to correct him and explain how things work, but he is extraordinarily contrary:
me: The Pilgrims were not the first humans on Earth. They were a group of people who left Europe and came to America.
Luke: So they were the first human beings in America.
me: Well, no. Native Americans lived here first.
Luke: Pilgrims were the first human beings on Earth, then.
me: I assure you, they were not.
Luke: Then who was?
me: Well, that’s very complicated. Millions and millions of years of genetic mutations led to the first humans.
Luke: . . .
me: Um, it’s hard for me to explain it in a way you’d understand. You’ll learn all about it in science classes in school.
Luke: So you don’t even know. Pilgrims probably were the first human beings on Earth.
Thank goodness for school!