Tag Archives: talking

The Mind of my 6-Year-Old

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9

I don’t have to look hard or dig deep to find signs that I am falling short of parenting perfection. Apparently, I’m so busy deflecting disaster that I can’t tackle the little things. Like educating my child. At all.

These are all direct quotes, just from yesterday. One day of Luke’s thoughts:

Luke on Religion:

Christmas has Santa. Hanukkah has God.

Luke on History:

The first human beings on planet Earth were the Pilgrims.

Luke on Geography:

Yeah, I know what Europe is. It’s one of the states. 

Luke on Astronomy:

The only planet in outer space that moves is the sun. 

Luke on Driving:

Wouldn’t it be cool if there was a computer screen the exact size of your windshield that showed exactly everything that’s outside so you could put it over your windshield and just look at that instead of looking outside?

Luke on Naturalization:

It’s sad that Daddy’s not American. He should take that test. He’d pass it if they just asked, “What’s 2+2 in America?” What’s 2+2 in New Zealand anyway?

I do try to correct him and explain how things work, but he is extraordinarily contrary:

me: The Pilgrims were not the first humans on Earth. They were a group of people who left Europe and came to America.

Luke: So they were the first human beings in America.

me: Well, no. Native Americans lived here first.

Luke: Pilgrims were the first human beings on Earth, then.

me: I assure you, they were not.

Luke: Then who was?

me: Well, that’s very complicated. Millions and millions of years of genetic mutations led to the first humans.

Luke:  . . .

me: Um, it’s hard for me to explain it in a way you’d understand. You’ll learn all about it in science classes in school.

Luke: So you don’t even know. Pilgrims probably were the first human beings on Earth.

Thank goodness for school!

 

WTF Tapas

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8

I recently posted about Sally’s trouble with the letter “s.” She replaces it with a hard “g.” She likes “g” so much that she actually uses it to replace many letters with haphazard abandon. The other day she said:

“Remember that book about the guck that got guck in the gicky, gicky gomp?” 

I happen to be fluent in Genglish and was able to translate this to: “Remember the book about the duck that got stuck in the sticky, sticky swamp?”

At least that’s what I think she said.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………..

We recently had a party where Luke struggled to handle the challenging situation of having to share his friend with another friend. By “struggled to handle” I mean that he acted like a total jerk, most of the time anyway. At one point, he really did try to get everyone to play together. This is when I overheard him say:

“That’s why we’re called ‘Conversation Super Heroes!’ So we can conversation it out.”

Awwww…

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I use random animals (monkey, rabbit, turtle dove, etc) as terms of endearment for my kids. (I also use strange foods like ‘pickle’ and random objects like ‘pine cone.’) Sally usually explains why she’s not whatever animal or object I’ve called her. From today:

me: Sally, do you know how special you are to me?

Sally: Gilly Mommy! I am not ‘pecial. I don’t even have a tail!

……………………………………………………………………………………………………..

“I think a miracle is upon us! Dontcha think? Dontcha think a miracle is upon us?” 

Ever since Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza, when Luke must have learned this phrase in school, he says it whenever something coincidental, good, or surprising happens.

Examples:

me: Oh good, we already had parsley in the fridge. I forgot to buy it at the market.

Luke: I think a miracle is upon us! Dontcha think? Dontcha think a miracle is upon us?

or:

Luke: Look! I wanted to watch “Peter Pan” and I opened the thing and “Peter Pan” was already in there! I think a miracle is upon us! Dontcha think? Dontcha think a miracle is upon us?

or:

Sally: Will you ging me a gong? No. Will you ssssing me a ssssong?

Luke: Good job, Sally! I think a miracle is upon us! Dontcha think? Dontcha think a miracle is upon us?

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For more WTF Tapas, click the badge: WTF TAPAS

 

 

S’s Esses

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15

Sally is a notorious mis-pronouncer. While she has made significant improvements, she still can’t say the “s” sound if it’s at the beginning of a word. She replaces it with a hard “g.” She will eventually master it and then I’ll forever miss her funny and individual style.

She sings (gings):

Miss Guzie had a baby,

He named it Tiny Tim,

He put it in the bathtub

to gee if it could gim.

He ginked up all the water,

He ate up all the gope,

He tried to eat the bathtub

but it didn’t bit down his boat!

She has self-awareness (gelf-awareness):

Sally: When I was little I use to gay “gop” because I couldn’t gay “gop.”

me: When you were little, huh?

Sally: Yeah. When I was little I was go go coot. I couldn’t gay “gop” so I just gaid “gop.” Isn’t that bunny?

She has help and she works on it:

During a kitchen disaster involving milk boiling over onto my stove top and promptly burning, creating a smell that I might never get rid of, I exclaimed, “Shit!”

As I cleaned up the mess, this conversation happens:

Sally: What did you gay?

me: Nothing, Honey. I said a bad word. I shouldn’t have said it.

Luke: She said “shit.”

Sally: “Git?”

me: Please stop, Luke. It’s not a nice word.

Luke: No not git. Shit. Shhh-it.

Sally: Ssss-git?

Luke: No. Sh, like shoe. Shhhh–it.

me: Stop. Please just stop.

Sally: Shhhhh–git.

Luke: Shhhhh-it. Shhhh-it. Shhhh-it.

me: Luke! Knock it off.

Sally: Shhhh–git. Shhhhh-git. Shgit. Shhhh–it. Shhhh–it!

Luke: Good job, Sally! You did it! Shit! Shit!

me: That’s enough, you two. Really. Stop.

Sally: Shhh-it. Shit! Shit! Mommy! Shit! Did you hear me? Are you go go proud? I gaid shit! I can gay my esses now! I can! I can gay my esses! Shit! Shit! Shit!

So, is it wrong that I really was proud?