Disorderly Conduct

There are times when my house is horrifyingly messy. I love a clean house, but I’m not disciplined enough to put in the work to keep it that way. I know that a quick 10 minutes here and there keeps it pretty tidy, but if I miss one day, then the mess is overwhelming and 10 minutes just ain’t gonna cut it.

Sometimes the mess is the price I pay for a few minutes of “peace and quiet.” Like today, while I ignored my cranky, demanding 2-year-old for a few minutes while I took care of important things like Words With Friends paying bills, I knew she was up to no good behind me. However, I was still taken aback when I swiveled my chair around to find this:

Multiply this 5x5 square times the entire floor surface of my house, and most counters, and you begin to get a picture of the current state of my home..

Holy crap!

All those shoes? That would be S putting on and taking off every pair of shoes she can get her little hands on. These are just the ones discarded in this room. There are this many shoes in every room. Hmm, is that my propane bill in the middle of the floor, next to her discarded pants? Notice the chair positioned in front of the open drawer of the changing table. What did she take out of there? Will I find Butt Paste art work on the walls of another room? Books, games, hats, socks, tights and millions of teeny tiny shreds of paper. Honestly, burning my house down would be quicker than putting all of this away.

The worst part? Let’s say I get this room looking great. While I’m doing that, another room is filling up with discarded shoes, toys and books that were played with for 2.5 seconds, and various stripped-off clothes. So, I’m not going to clean this up right now. I’m in no hurry. It’s just not worth the effort when it all comes back to this anyway. Entropy, Baby. I’m living it.

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Hurricane Damage

Hurricane Irene came and went leaving in her path a swath of destruction, chaos,  power outages, couped-up crazy-ass kids and desperately miserable parents. My home was no exception.

The power went out, but thankfully has been restored. Now we’re just dealing with the aftermath. The mess left behind. We are lucky in that there was no structural damage done to our home, that we’ve found yet anyway. But the clean up is still a huge task looming ahead of me.

This picture does not do justice to the scope of my disaster.

Attempting to keep children entertained and not infected by my strep throat (oh, yeah, I have strep throat) without the assistance of my favorite babysitter electrical entertainment devices, was no easy feat. It involved multiple iterations of cushion/blanket/pillow fortresses. Into these fortresses crawled my intrepid adventurers, bringing with them all necessary objects for survival. Which turns out to be just about everything in the house that’s not nailed down – very typical of a hurricane.

So, in Irene’s aftermath, I have tunnels and pillows and blankets to restore to their natural resting places and each time I move one I find dolls, animals, discarded clothing, silverware, kitchen utensils (both real and toy), and food scraps.

How did you fare?

PS: I do realize that this storm caused very serious damage, injury and even deaths. I’m just a blogger looking for a laugh. Please don’t take this too seriously and lecture me about, well, anything.
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Annoying Is as Annoying Does

Poor Sally has a disadvantage. Well, let me rephrase that. Poor me, Sally has a disadvantage. She has Luke to learn from. Now, Luke has many, many wonderful characteristics that make him a great big brother to have, but he also has many, many annoying traits and habits, and those seem to be the ones Sally is attracted to.

Sally gets hurt a lot while following in her big brother’s wild footprints. He’s big and coordinated while she’s small and clumsy. This makes what might be a simple climb-leap-roll maneuver for Luke into a catastrophe and blood-letting for Sally.

But what’s gotten my attention lately is not the constant injury, but the mess. See, Sally naturally is a neat person. She’s the one who puts other people’s toys and dishes away whether they’re done with them or not. She likes things in their place. She knows where her shoes are at all times, because she puts them away. It’s in her nature. But Luke is wearing off on her at such an alarming rate that it’s actually changing her very nature!

For a child who never liked to have food on her hands, she has come a long way down the slippery slope of slobdom. Let’s use yesterday’s painting activity as an example. Out of desperation to get outside, but unable to because of constant thunder and lightening (despite the sunshine), I set the kids up on the porch with some paints. I provided brushes, dressed them in smocks, and went inside for about 2 minutes. I came out to find this:

I think there’s a piece of paper in there somewhere.

Is that paint on my house? Why yes, it is. I found this mess somewhat alarming. Hang on, I’ll be right back with some wet rags. Just don’t touch anything…

Oh, that smock was in my way so I just took it off and painted myself.

Think all that paint will come off the porch floor easily? Neither do I.

The truth is that I should have known better. This is not the first time that something like this has happened around here. Did I ever tell you guys about this time?

At least they’re working together.

What’s that definition of crazy again? Something about doing the same thing and expecting different results? I guess I qualify.