Shattered – Thoughts for Newtown, CT shooting victims

I am mad and angry and so heartbroken and mad again. I can’t stop crying. How could this happen?

I have a 5-year-old in kindergarten. I’ve been in his classroom. It’s a room full of tiny children with futures and hopes and wide-eyed innocence who would smile at an approaching gunman because the pending horror would never cross their innocent minds.

How could this happen? How can we live in a society where our children are in danger of being murdered at school?

How could this happen? I can’t wrap my head around it. I have no basis to grasp this.

I feel sick to my stomach. I think of my son’s shiny exuberance as he dashed up to the school bus this morning. Those kids in Newtown had that same shiny exuberance just this morning. Those moms had the same tired, haggard, possibly slightly annoyed feeling I did. And now their babies are either not coming home ever, or are coming home after witnessing unfathomable terror.

How can we possibly understand what’s happened? How in a moment everything unravels?

I know there are millions of staunch gun supporters who say, “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people.” That is bullshit. GUNS KILL PEOPLE. Today, guns killed little bright-eyed children. A murderous psychopath armed with any other weapon could not have done this.

Is owning your gun worth this to you? Even if I’m wrong, and guns don’t kill people, isn’t it worth a shot to completely outlaw them? Isn’t it possible that it’s not a coincidence that countries with no guns have no school shootings? Is your ridiculous outdated right to bear arms that important? Is it worth the lives of these children? If you think so, I can’t understand you. And I’d like to see you defend yourself to a newly grieving mother.

I’m seething with anger. I’m devastated with sadness. I’m completely shattered and I’m a stranger to this community. This is not OK. We cannot go on this way.