Young children ask a myriad of stupid and annoying questions, well, L does anyway. (Don’t let anyone tell you there’s no such thing as a stupid question, because there is.) Here are my top five stupid/annoying questions L asks me all the time, (in addition to the ever-present, ever-annoying “why?”):
1. Is dinner ready yet?
No, Kid. Dinner is not ready. When dinner is ready I say “dinner’s ready!” and I give you a plate of food. If that has not happened, dinner is not ready. I promise you’ll be one of the very first to know.
2. Is it morning yet?
Is it dark out? Are you talking to two lumps in Mommy’s and Daddy’s bed or awake and dressed people? Look around for clues before asking your dumb-ass question please. And close the door on your way out.
3. Do you wanna see me _______?
Chances are, no, I don’t. Whatever the thing you want to show me is, you’ve probably been doing it nonstop for a while now. Or you’re going to hurt yourself, or break something, or hurt someone else. Basically, I’ve already seen you do just about everything that I allow you to do. And this is not the “you show.” I don’t want to sit and watch you flail about and act like you’re doing anything great.
4. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaase???
Why do you think that a long, drawn out, beseeching whine is going to change my mind? Has it ever worked for you? Here’s a tip that will save you lots of time: it will never work. Give.it.up.
5. Is it later yet?
Like an elephant, L never forgets. If you tell him “maybe later” he takes that as a sworn oath that whatever it was you were talking about will materialize at some future time. He asks if it’s later yet out of the blue – unrelated to any recent conversations or postponements that I can think of. The only right answer to this question is “why?” I cannot confirm if it is in fact later yet unless I know what he expects to happen if the answer is yes. Is he asking if he is old enough to chew gum yet or if I’ll let him watch a movie? He can catch the unawares and uninitiated off guard with this one. Remember, the only right answer is “why?”
Any annoying questions your kids pester you with that I’ve missed?
Can I…have or do or whatever the newest obsession is..? Did I say no before, then I’ll still say no. Asking over and over and over does not change the answer. Changing tactics and asking dad will not get you what you desire either–thanks for trying.
#3 is awesome! I smile and nod and feign interest in karate moves or GI Joe stories because it is what the “good” mommies do. And heaven knows my mom sat through me yammering on about crafts and marketing my babysitting skills. I figure this is just payback.
“WHHHHHHYYYYYYY NOT?!?!?!?!?!” 432,189 times in a ROW! And I answer my beautiful,lovely, and ever curious 3 yr old daughter with the same answer I always got………….wait for it………….”because I said so!!!!”
OMG, you nailed it. I totally relate to EVERY. SINGLE. POINT. Thank you!!! The only additional question I abhor is “What’s for dinner?” You’ll eat what I make or you’ll starve, but you are distracting me from cooking so please: Leave. Me. Alone.
Yeah, #3 is the most frustrating for me. “And this is not the ‘you show.’” Fantastic. I take TheBargainBabe’s point, and I certainly do try to let my daughter know that what she thinks and does is important to me (a gift my dad gave me as a child), but there’s got to be a line somewhere!
You are so funny! My kids ask me 100 times why we have to go to the grocery store… because unless you want to eat a can of black beans for dinner we need to buy food!
I get the dinner ready yet one all the time. Drives me crazy. And of course then, “why does it take so long??” because unless it comes out of a McDonald’s bag we need to make it and even if its a pizza in the oven it still needs to bake!
LMAO. So good.
My 2 year-old’s repeat question is “What’s that?” Even things she knows, as if she’s making sure I’m not full of sh*t.
I hear “is it later yet” 30x a day. SHUT UP. NO IT IS NOT LATER ENOUGH.
What’s even better is when my husband stands over my shoulder, LOOKS at the pot of spaghetti and asks “What are you cooking.” Well gee sherlock…are they just handing out college degrees to everyone these days?
This made me ROFL because my husband does this same thing to me! And now that my son is 6, him as well. *while watching me put spaghetti into the boiling water* “Mommy are we having spaghetti for dinner?”
Along the same lines as “is it dinner yet?”, but slightly different… my kids will ask if it’s dinner yet at fricking 8 in the morning. Uh duh, no, it’ll be breakfast time soon. Dinner is in like 10 hours. And you know this. Imbeciles. I get that one just about every single day. Annoys the crap out of me.
loved this post.
This made me laugh! Thank You!
Exactly!!!!
You’re fantastic!
I really hate the “Watch me ?/!” Often I respond with a “Can’t, I’m using my eyes right now for something else.” Sure, it’s probably Angry Birds, but sometimes ‘m using them to supervise the chopping of something with a knife. Can’t look away from chopping, wouldn’t be prudent.
The questions only get more annoying, I’m afraid. Or maybe it’s just me…
My almost 5-year-old loves to ask, “Do you like how I painted the line/drew the dinosaur’s mouth/put the sticky tape here/placed the tissue just so over the doll?”. A constant need for feedback and praise, for the tiniest things – as if she never gets any! Okay, I sound mean now…
“why is daddy taking so long?” Kid, it’s called a job and it’s a job where he is gone for up to 12 months at a time. He comes home every night right now. Be thankful ya spoiled little brat! I say this knowing that the kid and te dog will get a hello before me.
What are we doing next… like I’m the clown at the circus just here for CONSTANT entertainment. My usual response is something along the lines of “this is why I had a brother for you, go ask him”
Perfect responce!! I may have to use this in the future!
“Am I a grown-up yet?” Is our own rendition of “Is it later yet?” I deny a lot of things with the rationale that that’s only something for grown-ups or something you can’t do until you’re a grown-up. Gooooood times.
Hey, I thought of another annoying question already. They ask if they can have a snack and when I say yes, they ask me what we have. Answering, “food” doesn’t cut it. “But what do we HAVE, Mommy?” so then I’ll start listing the food we have, which is a really boring activity – “Goldfish, yogourt, cookies, raisins, blah, blah, blah…” and when I’m done I’ll pause with anticipation hoping they’ll just pick a snack and we can move on from this (my daughter is too young to get her own) but then she’ll say it again, as if I haven’t just listed every food item in the cupboard and the fridge, “But what do we HAVE, Mommy?” and I just want to snap and say, “Nothing! We don’t have anything! So I guess you can’t have a snack after all! Ever!” but then crying would start and that is also annoying.
They’re lucky they’re so cute.
The newest one around my house is – “Why do we have to clean up our stuff?” (she’s 3 – this is new for her and, seemingly, torture).
WHY? Because I am banning Santa, the Easter Bunny and your F***ing Grandma from the premises if this s**t continues to sit on the floor – either clean it up or give it to someone who would take care of it.
I’m a little bitter, but I stepped on Barbie’s heels this morning on the way from the bed to the bathroom and I am still pretty pissed.
I love this response! I’ve got two boys who ask the same question all the time. My answer is usually “If I have to pick it up it’s going to Goodwill.” My MIL is a big fan of quantity over quality when it comes to gifts. Lots of little s**t to open, lots of little s**t that gets neglected, more for me to b**ch about!
I hate the “Do you wanna see me…” question. Totally agree with the “Can I have a snack/What do we have” comment. So. Annoying.
My 6 year old likes to draw in the car. About 27 times during the course of a trip, I hear, “Mom, look!” “Honey I can’t look right now.” “Just. LOOK!” “Honey. I. Can’t.” “Why not?” “Because if I turn my head while driving this car 60 mph, I am likely to drive us right into a tree and then we will all have to go to the hospital and see the doctor.” “Fine….But can’t you just look real quick?” *Sigh*.
Ha!Ha! Great blog…this post made me laugh. Thank you for that
Ha ha, you totally nailed it! But there is a solution to number 2 though, at least mornings changed completely for us when we bought a Kidsleep clock for my son. He used to start yelling “IS IT MORNING YET?!!” from his room every morning from 6, and I would yell back “NOOOOO!”. This would repeat itself every 5 f***ing minutes until 7 when one of us finally gave up and got up with the kid. We bought the clock when he was 3 and taught him that he was not allowed to get up or yell or do anything before the bunny was “up”. Strangely enough, he accepted this and from then on whenever he wakes up, he always checks the clock when he wakes up. Sometimes he even goes to sleep again when seeing the bunny is still asleep. WIN! We’ve had it for 2,5 years now.
Needless to say, littlesister will soon receive her own clock, just waiting for her to actually understand how it works, she’s only 2;)
And oh, here’s a link to the one we have if anyone is interested:
http://www.arf-kids.co.uk/arf_kids_kidsleep.htm
My kids are older (teens), I love it when my boys pick up a piece of clothing off of the FLOOR and ask ME if it is clean? Yep, I just throw your clean clothes on the floor.
I Find This To Be Very Mean. I Have A Three Year Old And Yes Sometimes He Does Get On My Nerves But Damn Their Kids. If You Didnt Want To Deal With The Stupid Question Then You Shouldnt Have Had Kids. Seriously I Hope You Dont Really Talk To Your Kids That Way Cuz Its Mean. And It Wouldnt Surprise Me If They Grew Up With Some Mental Problems Because You Were Mean To Them When They Just Want Some Attention From Someone Who Is SUPPOSED To Give Them Undevotional Attention.
So, mommy blogs are a place to b*tch it out. & if you don’t like it, no one said you had to come & read it. It’s the truth, kids ask stupid questions & if you READ the blog, you will see Allison answers the questions several times. After that there is no point to keep answering it. Also, saying someone shouldn’t have kids? That is not your place at all. Giving attention & contently being entertained creates dependent children, it’s important to know boundaries & how to play by themselves …& THINK for themselves!! You say it wouldn’t surprise you if her children grew up with mental problems? If you’re willing to take a minute to reflect …would you want someone saying that about YOUR children? It’s cruel to say that. Think before you post next time, word can hurt!
1st
Of course it’s “mean”. That’s why it’s posted here…this way, you’re just venting to some Mommy’s in the same boat & not actually saying it to your kids.
2nd
It’s …Damn THEY’RE kids. They’re is a contraction for they are.
There, they’re & their…look up proper usage & please correct.
3rd
Why capitalize EVERY word in this post? Are you after some attention? ; )
4th
I happen to have an exceptionally big vocabulary & I am certain “Undevotional” is a NON word. Try substituting “undivided” or “devoted”. Again, please check & correct.
5th
Please put down your Mommy’s phone. Forums like this are NOT for petulant children. (I find it hard to believe that ANY adult “speaks” this way, so I’m guessing you hijacked your Mom’s phone.)
6th
Mental problems require expensive therapy. Therapy costs $. One walks a fine line b/t “crushing the spirit” just enough to encourage positive behavior while ensuring that the last bit of discretionary income can be used for truly enjoyable items/experiences (i.e. pedicures, massages, babysitters & cocktails).
Haha!
OMG lol
OMG! I love your blog! My daughter is only 5 months but I’m pretty sure I’ll thinking all the same things you just said. Awesome!
-thechroniclesofgia.blogspot.com
Love this post! Sounds like my house!!! I have 4 girls and they ask these questions ALL.THE.TIME.
Friggin’ hilarious. Love your blog.
AND THEN WHAT? This is asked in response to my answering their first question, which is usually “What are we doing/where are we going?”
“And then what?” can be asked onward into infinity–until my sanity snaps and I say either “Never mind!”, “It doesn’t matter” or “Then you are going to bed. Or maybe you are going to bed NOW if you don’t stop bugging me”.
Good one! I get this a lot too. L wants to know the next 127 things that are going to happen.
I could not stop laughing – this sounds like every evening at my house!! My favorite is Mommy Mommy Mommy? Because I didn’t hear her the first time
I hate the question “what are we going to do today?” My step-daughter asks this like we are supposed to DO something every day. I know she always stays home and does nothing at her mom’s so why does she need to DO something here? Then at night if we happened to not DO something that day she feels the need to tell me “We didn’t do anything today!” AGGHH!!!
My kids have asked the “What’s for dinner” question for the past 16 years and my response has never changed…”poison”.
Perfect!
LMAO!! Just found your BLOG and I have to say it is hilarious and honest!
Pestering questions my 10 year old asks:
“Want to hear a joke?”
“Do you want me to sing to you?”
Ask a random question that I then answer only to have her reply snarkily “Well how do you know?”
“Can so and so spend the night along with twenty of my other closes friends?” And then when she receives a no I get, “But why we won’t bug you.”
Thanks for the laughs!
My daughter is always asking what’s for dinner. She of course asks this so she can tell me how much she doesn’t like it the entire time she sits and impatiently waits for it to be ready…..my reply has become “whatever is on your plate when I put it in front you and you will eat it…AND…don’t ask me again you won’t eat” Every day it is the same thing. I am convinced children have some kind of agreement they make at the playground to annoy their parents until either their head explodes or they get to ice cream every night for dinner.
A favorite of my oldest, while he was 3, was “What’cha doin’?”
Mine isn’t a question. It’s a statement and it goes along with your #1. Every night as soon as I start to cook dinner my 2 1/2 year old comes up to me and says, “I’m hungry.” I say, “I know. I’m cooking your dinner.” She says, “Why are you cooking dinner?” SERIOUSLY KID?! You JUST told me you were hungry!! I just tell her to go play in her room.
A question my nieces and nephews ask, no matter where they are, even if it’s at home, “Can I go to the bathroom?” No, you can stand there in front of me and pee or poop in your pants. I actually said that to my nephew before. He’s 5 and still asks. Other than “why?” I think that would have to be the most annoying question.
My response to “is dinner ready yet?” is always “yes and you already ate it. don’t you remember? no? well then I guess it’s not ready and when you hear me say it’s ready than it’s ready!”
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Thankfully, I found this site when Googling “Is it normal to be annoyed by your 4-year old?” in a fit of guilt for finding my daughter’s every word annoying lately (I’ve got twin 2-year-old girls as well). This was just the levity I needed, and helped me avoid wasting $20 in the self-help section of Amazon!
You’ve come to the right place. According to me and my readers, it’s totally normal to be annoyed at your 4-year-old. Anything else would be abnormal.