L caught me off guard this morning in the car.
“Mommy, you had two babies in your belly, right?”
“Yes, but not at the same time.”
“Right, but how did they get there?”
Oh boy. This was bound to happen sooner or later, but at 3-years-old on a morning when I had fewer than 3 hours sleep the night before and I’m still on the way to Dunkin’ Donuts for my coffee, meaning I haven’t had any yet, I just needed to get the F out of my house before even brewing a pot?
“Mommies and Daddies make babies together.” Lame.
“But how?”
“Well, daddies plant a sort of seed in mommies, and it grows into a baby.”
“You’re kidding me right?”
“No, that’s really how it works.”
“A seed in your belly?”
“Yeah.” Phew, he’s quiet now. Turn up the music. He’s satisfied with my answer. Turn into Dunkin’ Donuts drive-thru.
“But how does the seed get there?” After some thought.
“You know what? Let’s get a book about it and we can read it together and it will explain everything. A book meant just for 3-year-olds about babies.” Take the hint, kid. Conversation over for now, but more to come later, promise.
“With a knife?”
“What!?”
“Does the daddy need a knife to cut into the belly? He needs to get inside to put the seed there. Does he use a knife to cut to get to the inside?” Asked with disturbing knife and cutting actions.
“No. Er, want a munchkin?”
I’m off to Barnes and Noble at some point today to pick up a book about sex for my 3-year-old. In the meantime, once again, junk food saves the day.
this is priceless! it reminds me of the scene in knocked up when they ask a little girl how she thinks babies are born: “Well. I think a stork, he umm, he drops it down and then, and then, a hole goes in your body and there’s blood everywhere, coming out of your head and then you push your belly button and then your button falls off and then you hold your butt and you have to dig and you find the little baby.” ah kids.
Junk food is always a winner. Good answers, and let me know what book you find.
Aaaah. Hilarious! Thanks for the morning pick-me-up! Definitely interested in that book.
Oh my, sex talk before coffee? I’d be bribing him with Munchkins too!
Good luck with that talk…
Please post the title when/if you find that book! I haven’t had to explain sex yet to my daughter, but I did have to explain menstruation to her when she was 2 because she follows me everywhere, including, of course, the bathroom. (I told her that grown-up women have extra blood that they don’t need, so it comes out once a month and it doesn’t hurt and it doesn’t mean we are sick.)
Reminds me of a time–35 years ago to be exact–when my then 3-year-old began asking questions about my expanding middle. Heading for Doubleday Books on NY’s 5th Ave, I found the where do babies come from section in the children’s dept.
As I perused one after another, a man with an attache case–remember those–could no longer resist and asked me “Isn’t it a little late for that?”
Ha!
What is it with kids bombing you with questions like that before you have had your caffeine?
Mine did the same thing. He said “do you have to have a mommy and a daddy to have a baby?” and how do you make a baby? To which I responded “well…(long pause) you do need a mommy and a daddy to conceive and start growing a baby” (I was dreading his next question) but what he said “oh, THEN God goes to the computer, picks out your eye color and hits print and you are born?” to which I promptly answered YES! and left it at that
Truly the digital age, huh?
Nice technique…avoidance followed by distraction. Love it!
God Lord…if he thinks a knife is involved, we’re all in trouble!!! Hope your next conversation goes well…please let us in on it too. I just need to know how other people do it! Okay, not how they “do it,” but how they talk to their kids about “it.” OMG…I’m demented.
OK. So while I love reading your blog, I may need to stop. Since the recent events which have shown me your blog is the precursor and crystal ball look into my life every time I read something (like this) all it does is make me laugh… until there is a point with in my first seconds of laughter that turn into terror.
Knowing I’m next. And frankly… I’m not ready.
Pls send along talking points. When it’s time (not now but soon) to have baby 2… I’m imagine my Curious Georgina is going to be all about the investigation on how that happened… FML.
SO funny! Thank you for sharing this! Although the cutting motions sound kind of scary, L. knew that a shovel wouldn’t be appropriate for planting a seed in a belly!
My guy started asking questions at about the same age. I went to the library and SEARCHED for the standard “Where Babies Come From” that I grew up with (very simple language with paper cut out pictures of dogs and chicks and then working up to Moms and Dads in missionary position under covers), but there was none of that to be found. Instead very wordy, overly complicated books with pictures of a real woman and real man, fully clothed sitting next to each other. A friend showed me a copy of her 1970′s book which I thought was great, but I caved into my husband’s and the preschool teachers’ hesitations and didn’t end up showing it to him. It’s hard to get something that conveys just the appropriate amount of info. for you and your little one.
I did share the basics with J (then 3.5ish), though: Daddies make sperm, Mommies have eggs, and when they love each other very much they make babies.
Months (maybe even a year) later he asked where the sperm came out of. I asked him to guess, he said “his mouth?” I corrected him fearing the worst, but he just accepted it and let it drop.
Good luck to you and do share the results!
OMG. This is hilarious! I have a very curious 2 yr-old son. Please post the title of the book you find. Gonna need it soon. LOL! This is an awesome story.
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