Could it be? Is that a light? At the end of the tunnel? I’m squinting into the metaphorical distance and I think I’m seeing a flicker of something. L is approaching the second half of 3, and lately the ratio of OK times to horrible times has been on the upswing. Even a bit of hilarity in there these last few days.
Maybe it’s new Hammer T, maybe it’s just the age and he’s coming out of one phase and entering a new one. Maybe the demon has been exorcised forever! He’s not behaving so differently all of the time, but it seems like some of the fight is gone. He’ll still snarl and bristle, bare his teeth, but then he’ll often submit rather than going for the jugular.
Last night our weekly babysitter, M, arrived as usual at 6PM. L went from calm and happy to running around the house, shooting at us and being generally obnoxious the second she came through the door. She said “Guess what?” to him excitedly to which he screamed back, ”DON’T TALK TO ME! I DON’T LIKE YOU!” Urg. It continued in this vein until we left the house. As he followed us out the front door, I put my face in his and said in a convincing tone that he’d better start being nice to M, or else. (I have no idea what this “else” was going to be. I can’t believe I even said it. I’m pretty sure this was an ineffective threat I heard a lot as a kid and it just came out.)
Sure that we’d come home to hear about L’s rude behavior, we instead learned that as soon as we got in the car, L turned to M and said, “I don’t mean that I don’t like you. I just don’t want my mommy and daddy to go.” They then happily baked cookies, listened to Dr. Seuss books on CD and he went to bed with no problems.
So, we still have a ways to go. He didn’t exactly behave well, but he retracted his claws, maybe even felt bad for treating M that way and sort of apologized. It’s a small step in the right direction, right? I’m cautiously optimistic. I’ve been burned before.
Hooray! Celebrate every success — even if it’s 2 steps forward and 1 step back, it’s still progress.
GO L!!!
Just started reading your blog last week! I’ve laughed so hard, I peed, and I also cried at remembering the times I felt like a horrible mom! Thanks for your blog! I’m so glad L is improving!
The way he communicated is a BIG deal – that’s so great! At least he knows why he’s acting like he is, and can explain himself. I’m crossing all my fingers and knocking all the wood for you.
I’ve had the “or else” slip out too, and feel so silly afterwards. My kid is not afraid of the unknown, so saying that is useless to her.
Miss A is 3y4mo and she’s still insane but I too am squinting towards the tunnel. I just look at my 5yo and think “ok, in 1 year 8 months she’ll be just as easy as her big brother…I can make it…I can MAKE IT….”
Fingers crossed that it swings in the right direction and gets stuck there. Why do they have to be such little,…little…people. With minds and thoughts and feelings… Geeze!