What I’m doing isn’t working. L is not becoming more compliant and cooperative no matter how much I bribe, punish and reward him. I suddenly see that I need a whole new approach. No matter how much I try, and no matter how much I just wish it would work, bending L to my will is just not happening. Somehow, L and I have to work together to get our days going more smoothly.

So, here’s my mission: to create a more peaceful home. My plan? Well, I barely have a clear idea of that just yet. But this will happen. Loosely, the plan involves:

• trying to see the day and each obstacle through L’s eyes;
• trying to incorporate him in a way to make things work for both of us, so he feels empowered and respected;
• trying very, very, very hard not to lose my cool (which, by the way, I lose so often that I don’t even know if I have any left);
• trying to always be mindful that he’s 3, and that’s why he’s acting like that;
• trying to have fun and be fun.

I keep hearing that I’m not the only one struggling with these things, so I’m going to share my experiment with you all. I’ll post about my successes and, embarrassingly, about my failures. I’ll tell you what is working and what is not. I’ll let you know if, in a month from now, I’m better able to enjoy spending time with L, rather than constantly counting down the time until bedtime. I’m sick of being irritated all the time. I’m sick of missing out on all the fun we should be having. Consider the new leaf turned. (All of this is very easy to say right now, because L isn’t home. Let’s just see how I do when I’m facing the real thing!)